Pearls of remarks

31 January 2021 by Marjoleine van Sinderen, 4c Unity

A few days ago I’ve found a small letter from my youngest son on top of my laptop. It said: ‘Thank you for helping me with spelling, dear mama’ (including some spelling errors). Pfff, do you know that warm feeling in your chest that raises to your neck, swelling up? Well, yes.

A few days later, I again enjoyed a beautiful remark: ‘When I work with someone, I try to understand the other person and try to temporarily adapt to them in order to have a smooth working relationship. I have a great relationship with Americans. Yet, I would like to explore how, with this training, I can supplement my toolbox and see if I can take it to the next level’.

A beautiful mindset; constructive and respectful. I love the willingness, the openness and can’t wait to see the progress. I wish this person profound insights and I look forward to seeing how this mindset and the online training will blend and strengthen the cooperation with Americans. My role is to guide, to ask, to answer, if and when it is needed.

“Can’t the Americans just change, instead of us?”

On the same day, I received a totally different comment from someone else, which was so beautiful in a way. (Yes, I had a great week). “Can’t the Americans just change, instead of us?” I understand why this question is raised. At the same time, I am fully aware of the outrage that this question may provoke in Americans (who weren’t there at that moment.). I get this question from time to time. Not with the intention of deliberately offending, but to genuinely discover: ‘I am who I am. Why should I change? They should adapt’.

I am ok as a person, right?

I am grateful for this comment, because the fact that this person dares to wonder out loud in an environment that is safe for him/her, makes it possible for this person to explore his/her beliefs and point of view. Without wonder and openness, no reactions or reflections are possible. The underlying feeling (or fear) might be: ‘I’m all right, aren’t I? There is nothing wrong with me. I act the way I always do and that works fine. I am just myself’.
Yes, you are ok (!) and nobody is asking you to change. Not in this training. No worries about that. You stay close to yourself. Within your possibilities and time frame, you will explore what you know about American business culture, what your beliefs are about Americans, and their way of dealing with projects, testing, quality, etc. You will discover whether a shift is possible and perhaps necessary in your beliefs.

Explore for your own good

You will expand your current tools with regard to convincing Americans. How do you ask or persuade them to change their decision, direction and production flow, when the situation has changed because of new information? Americans like to stick to their previous opinions and actions. They like to make money quickly, so an adjustment could mean a delay. A delay that could have more consequences for them than for you. What arguments would you use or do you usually use? Are there better arguments? Is it just about arguments or does persuasion involve much more than just arguments? What aspects of persuasion are there and how do you apply them? How to make them work for you? How to convince positively with respect, so that the Americans see the necessity of your proposal and become enthusiastic?

Supplement your toolbox

Would you like to explore how you could supplement your toolbox, then please book your free talk here. I am happy to listen and think along.

With the online training course Inspire & Convince Americans you will improve mutual recognition and appreciation.
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